welcome to frog blog

Well, it's been over a year since I last did anything with this website or blog. A lot's happened. The second half of 2024 was at this point forgettable - lots of the same, a slow downward slope into the start of 2024. I'm getting divorced. It was agreed on in February, after a long pile of considerations and rethinking and other things, and I spent March sleeping on the couch and bracing myself for whatever came when I moved out. He kept the house, but I wasn't attached enough to it anyway. I moved out at the start of April into a nice attic apartment (it gets hot, though). My emotions have sort-of run a whole course, and I go between being utterly relieved that everything is back under my own control and a crippling sense of loss. I haven't been single in years, or living alone, anything of that sort for a while. I definitely dived into marriage too early. I don't regret it in the end, neither the marriage or the divorce. I don't regret much in life. Whatever happens is what happens.
The whole process was supposed to be started in May, but then I ended up in a car accident with a truck that totaled the car I was supposed to be getting in the divorce. When it rains it pours. Because the car was still his, the process of dealing with insurance was already more complicated and the truck's insurance has been a nightmare to deal with. Over a month later we're still waiting, but since the car was declared a loss we at least managed to file. Now I wait for a court date. I do have another car now, one that works better and is overall nice. I got a job in the meantime but it doesn't give me enough hours, so now it's back on the hunt.
All of this makes it sound like I'm living in misery, but in all honesty I'm doing a lot better than I'd thought. I've been able to connect with friends more than I have in a long time. I'm thankful for that. I have a web of people that care about me, and all of them from lifelong best friends to new acquantences do something to make it all go down easier. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. I always felt so weird and out-of-place, and I was always quiet, but now it feels like more people find all those things interesting or even cool. I'm going to some concerts this year. I don't have much tying me down beyond the bearded dragon I got after moving out - my ex was not big on pets, especially not reptiles. Not because of fear. He just didn't "care for them" and I was - forcing myself to swallow my pride - willing to sacrifice far too much of my own wants during that whole thing. It's embarassing in retrospect. I did just let myself fall to the background. I don't know. I know a bit more about what I'm needing in future relationships. For now I'm just doing what I do.
I'm still listening to a lot of music. I've gone through a pretty big industrial phase lately. I used to snub the genre as a whole because I fell into the whole 'real goth' circle for a long time - and while they're still not the same genre, it's still good music. Maybe I'm just a rivethead poser all along. I did always like chains and leather more than lace and white foundation. I saw AJJ for the second time right after moving on my own. Once again it hit the spot.